The tracks of her tears
by Smirgutt
Summary: A Library fix, but not a fast "and all worked out fine" I tried t take my time and think of a way I would believe it could happen
1. Chapter 1

An Attempt to A library fix and my second ever fanfic.

It almost goes without saying but I don't own or have any rights to Dr Who... the BBC has that, I only wished to entertain

**A Plan Forms**

Of course he had thought about it, so many times he had wanted to go to the Library and visit her grave.  
Stare into her time line.  
But it would have killed him and he never could bare to say the last, final, goodbye.  
What if there wasn't one? What if her partially human DNA would show him her skeleton decayed and ancient and very very permanent.  
His mind recoiled at the mere thought of his wonderful mad woman being bones in a space suit. So he never went.  
He hated endings.

Trenzalore changed him, so many years stationary and so so many years to think.  
How many regenerations would a "part Time Lord" have?  
She saved his life by giving the remainder of her regenerative powers to him and he knew he could give some to her.  
After all that was what he had done in Manhattan but…. could he fully restore her?  
As an old, dying, time lord the answer was obviously "no" even as a younger man it would have killed him and then the shoe would be on the other foot,  
River missing him. He felt sure that she wouldn't be grateful or even happy with a gift like that.  
Just as much as it pained him to be in a world without her, it would kill her to be in a world without him.  
But NOW the game had changed….he had a bright new set of regenerations… and what better way to use them then to restore that awful, psychotic,  
lovely, wonderful wife of his back to life.  
Once the thought had popped into his head it never left, it settled grew and eventually formed a plan.  
He would visit the Library again.

As he got dressed, to better suit the needs and tastes of his new body, the TARDIS wheezed, purred and a small box popped out of the centre console.  
It was Tardis blue with indentations, like the sides of his beloved box, and in it was a ring.  
It wasn't a grand ring. It wasn't ornate or had a precious stone in it.  
It was a simple Permiunos gold band with a small drop of an Enondion tear in it.  
He recognised it immediately. It was a promise ring, a promise to her and to himself, he'd find a way to gaze upon the tracks she carved in time  
and restore her from them.  
He smiled a tiny smile and stroked the console, "you always did like her being here didn't ya old girl".  
The Tardis dinged in agreement.  
"Well, its never been done and it's impossible, I like our odds".  
He grinned, a little menacing grin, and turned to a blue lever,  
"Lets see, who would know anything about this… show me Sexy whom do I need to meet".  
The Tardis, never one to skip a chance to show of how smart she was, wheezed away to meet just the gal for this job.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well, as you all must know no rights Dr Who related are mine, they are all the BBC's and good on 'em they're doing just fine without me :P _

_I am just trying to entertain my own mind and hopefully yours to, read enjoy en comment  
_

**The Gal for the job?**

"So old lass where did you take me".  
The doctor walked up to the door and, with a little pause for dramatic effect as to humour the Tardis, reached for the door.  
He never got to dramatically step out as the door swung open and Clara bursted in. "Clara! What are you doing here?".  
"Ow Doctor!" she said "what are you doing here? You landed in my back yard!".  
"My impossible girl", the doctor mused and then as he turned and gestured Clara to follow him thought  
"Of course if anyone knows about entering an other persons time line it would be her".  
Recognising that it must have caused the Tardis to swallow quite a bit of pride to go to Clara for help, he stroked her console and murmured  
"Not a good girl, you're the best of girls".  
The Tardis adopted what could only be interpreted as a smug humming, the Doctor chuckled.  
"So Clara where would you like me to take you today? Einstein's 17th birthday party? The birth of your sun? The inhabitants of Dacromf  
who spent their entire life sleeping and never wake up, mind you they do stink a little, well i say a little but…"  
He knew he was rambling and he also knew it didn't suit him. This new body was not one to ramble, but he couldn't just come out and ask her.  
Chances where she didn't even know herself and he didn't want to pressure her. If she could help him it would happen in her own time.  
Nobody understood that like the doctor.

It took months before a chance encounter, with a super-slow super nova, led to more information about what had happened to Clara at Trenzalore.  
They where sitting in the Tardis, legs hanging over the door sill, drinking a cup of tea while looking at the dying sun.  
Tiny creatures walked on the exploding surface harvesting some of the elements, when Clara said "They must feel like I did on Trenzalore".  
She looked down on the tiny ant like creatures "like being eaten by slow burning…".  
She paused and sighed. The Doctor turned to her and grabbed her hand, "You shouldn't have done it, it was dangerous and you could have died".  
He turned his head and continued "I can never thank you enough, you are always so brave, all of you".  
He sighed, the memories of companions saving him, and River, always more then that, dying for him. He focussed on Clara again "Tell me what it felt like".  
Clara looked at him and then looked at her hands.  
"It felt like dying a thousand times over. Like being burned by time, everything I was was being stripped off 'till I wasn't even… " .  
Her voice broke and she clung to her tea cup as if it was a buoy that could save her from the painful memory.  
"My impossible girl" he petted her back.  
This regeneration wasn't as touchy feely as her first doctor was but she calmed enough to tell him.  
"I wasn't me anymore. If you hadn't come I would have been lost forever. Tell me doctor would my body stay in your time line grave?  
Be dead with you?".  
"I don't know" he said. "Time Lords don't usually jump into them". He tried to smile reassuringly at her. "And you're not going to do it ever again".  
He folded his massive brows into, what he thought, would be a menacing set. "Right? No more saving me!".  
Despite herself she smiled "Only if I really have too, you need somebody there Doctor. We all need that".  
The Doctor looked at her sternly "No!… More!… Saving!".  
He then got up and said "Well come on, this star is going to be exploding for millennia and I recall you saying something about a date?".  
This last word he made sound like a question, he realised that he didn't know all that much of her life outside the Tardis.  
"Ow my date! I almost forgot that". Clara looked at him. "Will you come back for me?".  
"Of course, you haven't seen the Gwalks mating ritual. We should bring an umbrella tho".  
With that he stood up and walked towards the Tardis' console.  
"Back home it is" 


	3. Chapter 3

_4 people are following my story! OMG you rule! so for you, a new chapter because I'm so happy about that._

_Again I don't own any Dr who rights, the BBC do. And I'm glad of it I merely do this for fun_

_With that said enjoy!_

**The Library**

The Doctor was fidgeting and he knew it. He had to go to the Library.  
If he was ever going to find a way to restore River it was the sensible place to start. But… the Tardis lamp needed replacing,  
Clara never saw the old Las Vegas, or the New Las Vegas or the New New Las Vegas, the planet, not the city.  
He wanted to go to the Library it was just that he was so very busy. "Fidgeting". He thought "over two millennia old and I am fidgeting!".  
He glared at the Tardis as if she was to blame, and walked around the console flipping switches and "fidgeting!" he spat out at the empty room.  
"This is madness!" he finally exclaimed "I need to do something".  
He grabbed the screen that was suspended over the centre console and typed in some coordinates.  
He then flipped even more switches and pulled a lever. "lets see how Clara is doing" he said to no one in particular.  
The Tardis wheezed and whopped and moved herself through time and space like she'd always done.  
If he had been paying attention he would have known something was wrong the minute they landed, but he wasn't.  
He was too busy plotting a nice trip for Clara.  
The Tardis landed quietly, smoothly and indicated the she had landed. And the Doctor busying himself with getting his face in a friendly set,  
walked to the doors.  
"So Clar…"  
He shut his mouth, it took him less then a millisecond to figure out what the Tardis had done.  
"In my own time! Not yours!"

He was in the Library.

His first instinct was to walk straight back into the Tardis, but the urge to see the damned place won over his instincts.  
As he looked he saw the steps leading to the balcony where he had left Rivers diary, so many years ago.  
And there. just where he left it, it still lay. He never formed the conscious thought to pick it up. He just saw it and the next moment he was holding it.  
Smelling it, to see if her scent had lingered. It was a pointless thing to do, he knew that, and there was no smell.  
Except… there was, a faint smell of ink lingered. Ink? He pointed his sonic at the old blue book and then its surroundings.  
Puzzled he tried it again, no the date was correct he was in the 54th century, the book should have been here ages. But the readings clearly indicated  
that it had only been here for months at most.  
Months? Maybe a later regeneration picked it up. But why had the Tardis brought him here now?  
Their time lines would cross no more, so he felt no harm could come from looking in the book. Seeing Rivers hand writing gave him a nostalgic feeling,  
and reading about their time together was a sad and happy thing.  
"Jim the Fish!" he smiled, now there was a sticky mess she got them into. Pictures of Amy and Rory, drawings of him and… The Singing Towers of Darillium.  
There he paused, the memories of that night, even in an older version of who he was now, still was excruciating.  
He was glad that he was there for her at the end, but so thankful he didn't know who she was when it was happening. Fixed points be damned! He would never have let her die. They were a lot alike, she would have scolded him, just like he did her millennia ago on a pyramid that never was.  
"Fixed points" he said softly as he flipped to the next, empty, page.  
Well not completely empty in her lovely handwriting five words were written diagonally over it

_** "Put it down sweetie,**_  
_** SPOILERS"**_

He almost dropped the book! There was more, page after page was filled but he daren't look.  
Spoilers indeed… 


	4. Chapter 4

Losing momentum a bit, deleted a chapter I didn't like so now, I'm thinking really hard about where to go with this

Please bare with me :P

**A Time Lords Grave**

He slowly turned to face the dark halls of the Library, his jaw set determinately.  
"So be it, I will go see my River".  
As he walked inside he was careful not to touch the shadows, but he and the Vashta Nerada knew each other and the shadows scurried away.  
Once inside he located the platform that could take him to the planet's core without any difficulty, in his mind he had walked this path millions of times.  
Reality didn't differ much from the mind path.  
He heard the Tardis wheeze out of the Library but he paid no attention to her. His mind was already in the planet's core.  
He barely even noticed that he had sped up, the closer he got to the computers but, when the last corner came into sight, he stopped.  
The old fears flooded him again, what would he find.  
It was a potent mixture of fear and longing, and even tho he wanted nothing more then to see her again, the image of the space suit stopped him.  
Would that be what was waiting for him? The suit she wore the first/last time they'd met filled with her bones. Would she be what she never was in life, just a human?  
"Never" he said and rounded the last corner

There was no space suit, every muscle he didn't even knew he had tightened, relaxed as he saw it. The beautiful "tracks of her tears" as he once  
described them, River's Time Grave. In no way was it as impressive as his was back at Trenzalore, but to him it was a joyous sight never the less.  
He pointed his sonic screwdriver at it and saw his first kiss and hers, not the same kiss. He couldn't help but smile, time lines! Never having the same  
firsts in their romance had been fun and terribly frustrating at times. Here River killed him, here she did it again, and there he picked her up at Storm Cage  
for their first date.  
So much love, so much loss.  
He stared into it, hearing her voice "Hello Sweetie" a hundred times over, her smile, her kiss, her embrace. He leaned forward almost touching the brilliant white lines.  
How would they feel, he thought, his love would never willingly hurt him. He extended a hand

"Doctor!"

He turned fast, as if fallen out of a trance "Clara, what are you doing here! How did you get here"  
He tried to sound happy about seeing her, and his surprise wasn't fake, but he'd rather stayed alone, gazing in River's grave.

"Doctor stop! Step back please".

Her voice broke "don't leave me".  
The Doctor rushed to her side, "Silly girl, what is wrong with you, come".  
And with that he took her hand and led her away from the Time Grave, the Tardis had reappeared near the mainframe and the Doctor stepped inside, holding the door for Clara.


	5. Chapter 5

Well hello you, I'm back with another instalment. do I need to keep saying I don't own Dr Who and the BBC does. I know already :( sad enough as is, but true never the less

The Tardis makes a pick up

Clara was busying herself with, yet another, soufflé, she was sure THIS time she got it right. As she popped it in the oven she heard the whoozing that accompanied the Tardis from the street in front of her house.  
"Well, at least he didn't land in the back yard again" she thought, the rose bush hadn't recovered from his last appearance, and she wasn't sure if it could take an other hit like that. She threw her oven mits of and ran to the door, out on the streets and right into the waiting Tardis.  
"Hello Doctor" she said smiling, but the Tardis was empty,  
"Doctor?"  
Silence…

There was a flickering near the centre column and a woman stepped out. "River, how can you be here?"  
"I'm not", the figure said, "I am the appropriate interface for what you need to hear. Please listen and be quiet".  
Clare cocked an eyebrow, the Tardis really didn't like her much and the tone the hologram had used was, at best, condescending. "Why would I" she replied,  
already turning to leave and check up on her soufflé.  
"Clara, he might kill himself today", the hologram stood still, while Clara's eyes widened in shock.  
"But…" she swallowed a lump that, all of a sudden, had taken up all room in her throat, "he'll regenerate, he can do that".  
"It's not that kind of death" the unemotional hologram answered, " did you never wonder why there are no Time Lord graveyards".  
"Well the Tardis would grow and…".  
"Untrue" River answered " there are no gravesites because if two Time Lords are married and by some fluke of faith do not end there regeneration cycles together,  
their grave would become the most dangerous place for the other. Imagine being able to relive every moment of your lives together, not ever having to feel that loss.  
He would disintegrate into the time lines and it would be a double grave. Most couples end that way at the end of their lives. But this can not be his end. You must save him".  
The hologram River had said this all without emotion but Clara could feel the urgency that seemed to fill the entire control room.  
"What do you want me to do?" She looked at the hologram but it stood there unflinching not affected by the stress Clara obviously felt.  
"you must go to the Library" the Tardis started humming "and you must make sure he does not step into the timelines, he cannot touch them, for if he does he will step into them and he will never want to leave. He'll not be dead but he won't be alive either, he will just want to stay in that state forever so in a way he will be dead. he'll be dead to you and to the world and I am not sure the universe is quite ready to let him go yet"  
"tell me what to do" Clara was almost crying, the mere thought of a world without the Doctor the man she had saved a thousand times over "I'll do it, anything, just tell me what to do"  
The hologram looked coldly at her and said "We are here, don't allow him to step into the lines". And with that Clara landed in the planets core just in time to see the doctor reach out to touch the grave of River Song.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi everybody, this one is a bit longer, hope you still like it, if you do lemme know :P_  
_It takes me a bit longer to upload because I try to have two ready and then publish one for continuity reasons._

**Shopping in Paris**

The Doctor was thinking, thinking so hard it made his head hurt and the Tardis upset. He had had a wonderful time with Clara, but in the back of his mind he was constantly working to find a way to restore his beloved back to life. Clara had tried to talk to him about what happened in the Library, had tried to explain the risks of touching a time grave. Of course he knew all this, the information the Tardis had given her was general knowledge to the Time Lords, he had never thought about stepping into the time lines. But now that Clara had said it it was the only thing on his mind, if River could not come out he could step in, it was a way of being with her and has limited as it would be he would be with her forever.  
The Tardis did not much care for that line of thought, and as a way to show her annoyance with him she randomly moved rooms, which again led to a lot of walking for the Doctor and a lot of mumbled curses.

One day while the Doctor was inside the Tardis, holding two books and reading them at the same time, the phone rang. He tried to ignore it but it kept ringing. He ignored it some more, and it rang some more. Clearly somebody was trying to get his attention. The Doctor sighed, put his books aside, and answered the phone. "Yes? What do you mean nothing to wear, I saw your closet, it's packed.  
Date! Date again, I don't know how you find the time to do these things.  
Oh well okay, what would you say to Paris in the 1940s?  
I'll be at your door in a second".  
While saying these last words he grabbed a lever flipped it, pushed some random buttons and rang a bell, the Tardis wheezed and whooshed and moved herself so quietly and efficiently as if to say "Yes it has been too long, you should travel with someone" .  
"Doctor! Not on the roses again, they barely survived the last landing".  
The Doctor looked around sheepishly," I am sorry Clara, you just sounded like you really needed somebody there right away, and you know if you call I come, rosebushes be damned" he smiled.  
Clara sighed "I don't know how I'm ever going to explain the mystery of the dying rosebush, especially since it's not just dying but also flattening. Well with a bit of luck they won't notice" .  
The Doctor laughed at the idea of the mysterious dying, flattening rosebush, despite himself he found he was really looking forward to spending some time with Clara, even if it was just shopping in Paris in the 1940s.

"So about this one" Clara was twirling around in a beautiful blue dress, Tardis blue, the Doctor picked.  
"Well, yes it's a dress, it appears to be your size and you like it, so we are done right?". They were standing in a tiny boutique on the fourth biggest moon of the G'dzma Galaxy, something went wrong with Paris. But as far as mistakes went this was a pretty good one, this moon specialised in foreign fashion, and Clara was wearing a bridal gown from a civilisation that died out aeons ago. Which might have something to do with the fact that they would chuck brides into volcanoes, he didn't share this information with Clara, she loved the dress. No need to tell her that the reason it fell so lovely around her body was because it was made so it wouldn't fly up in the hot volcanic smoke.  
"Yes" Clara said "this is the one Doctor, it's lovely and it suits me so well, the fact that it is Tardis Blue is just icing on the cake". She looked around, the store carried many things for many beings, mostly nonhuman and nonhuman in shape.  
"Well that worked out fine, now all I need is shoes, a scarf and maybe some earrings and a necklace. Oh and a purse! How could I forget that, it is a lovely dress but pocketwise it's lacking".  
"I thought you said you were done?" the Doctor looked at her in puzzlement "You said this was the dress".  
This whole shopping thing had been 'fun' for about two dresses, he just about had enough of tiny shops with beady eyed owners.  
"Ow come on Doctor this is the fun part, I promise" she wiggled her eyebrows trying to get him to smile, she failed.  
"One shop" he declared "one shop is all you get. After that it's straight back home, so I suggest you pick wisely" internally he laughed at Clara's shocked face.  
"Just one! But there are hundreds of shops here! How would I know which is the perfect one, what if I end up picking the Primark of intergalactic shopping".  
She spun round on her toes to see as many shops in one go, but couldn't seem to make up her mind. Maybe that one with the gold curtains, or that one with the life firefly like creatures in the window or… or… they all looked great and full of promise to her. Finally her eyes caught a glimpse of a tiny street leading of the main square they were on. If she had learned one thing in her shopping years it was that 'of the beaten track' shops carried the coolest things.  
"Lets go there" she said and grabbed the Doctors hand.  
"No grabbing!" the Doctor said, Clara ignored him and pulled him towards the alley "and NO pulling!".  
It was pointless, Clara had a goal and she was going straight for it.  
The tiny little alley was littered with shops one more outlandishly than the other, Clara realised that picking one would be the hardest thing ever. Her eyes scanned shop windows, which one to pick, Which one would hold the ultimate in accessories she felt at a loss. "Well" the Doctor said," which one tickles your fancy?". Clara was just about to give up and enter the store closest to them, when a tiny prism of colour hit her eye from the far left.  
"That one" she said and headed determinately towards a black door, as she pushed the door a tiny silver bell rang out. And inside… inside was a nirvana of trinkets, beads and all sorts of lush fabrics, Clara was in heaven!  
"O god, this is going to take forever isn't it", the Doctor's face fell as he saw Clara's light up at the stacks and stacks of trinkets "O dear!".  
In the nano-est of seconds Clara was at the counter where the pendants and rings with precious stones, or so she assumed, were kept.  
The Doctor followed her as he looked around, "Amazing how much junk you can stuff into one little store if you put your mind to it", he smiled "it has a Tardis quality to it, as in that it holds way more then that tiny door would have you believe. I should have packed a lunch!".


	7. Chapter 7

_enjoy, remember if you like it...let me know :P_

**The ring and the Tardis**

"Well helloo, how may I be of assistancessss" a snake like creature slithered from behind a curtain into view. Clara jumped a little, in shock, but the Doctor who was standing behind her pushed her back and whispered "Don't be rude Clara he is the owner what did you expect".  
"SSSHE" the huge snake looked a bit hurt that the doctor had called her a he, which was unfortunately quite a funny sight.  
"Madam I am so sorry, of course you are, in this dim light I missed your neck rings" he bowed 'till his head almost touched his knees, "forgive me" he said to his knees.  
"Sssalright" the snake replied and was about to say something else when Clara had a coughing fit trying not to burst out laughing.  
"There, there" the doctor petted her back "Just breathe", and turning to the snake said "It must be the dust, she's not from around here, sensitive lungs these humans". Now Clara was really gasping for air, the snake looked her up and down "Mammals", she sighed "how they cultivated the stars is a mystery to me" she winked at the doctor and Clara just gave up and laughed out loud.  
"She fancies you!" tears were streaming over her face.  
"Iss sshe laughing?" the snake said, her pupils widening.  
"No,no, she isn't" the Doctor assured her, "its this breathing pattern that doesn't translate well. She is gasping in awe, they are truly a uncivilised lot and you, well you!" the doctor looked up and down the 20 foot snake that had curled herself around the counter. " What is there not to be in awe about".  
Clara nodded fervently, not trusting her voice but knowing better then to anger a 20 food snake.  
"Well yesss, I suppose that could be the case" the snake said eyeing the Doctor up-and-down " you are not one of these… humansss".  
"No" said the doctor," but you know that already, you were checking out my hearts as soon as I walked in the door".  
He gave the snake a once over and sighed "we both come from great extinct civilisations".  
The snake bowed her giant head and looked the doctor up and down, at his hands she stopped, "Your partner seems much alive" she said.  
"Clara? She's not my…"  
"not my partner" they both said.  
If it was possible for a snake to have an "I knew it" face, she was making one now, and she fixed her eyes on the furthest corner of the shop  
"I have sssspecial purses that would go great with any outfitsss" the snake said to Clara "and sssince it's your first time here I will give you a nice dissscount"  
Clare squealed and almost tripping over her feet made to the ginormous stack of purses "These are beautiful, look Doctor the grey one will… oo no the blue one, or wait this one…".  
"Just pick one Clara, I don't have to hear about every single bag" he said and softer added "any female of any species… always the same show them a bag and they turn into blundering idiots".  
I HEARD that Doctor!" Clara called out almost engulfed by the purses.  
"Sorry" he said "I didn't mean for you to hear" he smiled.  
"Ssso where is she?" the snake had turned to the Doctor again and was eyeing him intently, "If she is not dead where is she?".  
"What do you mean?". It was a weird line of questioning and he wasn't quite sure he wanted to have this talk with a lady he'd just met, even if she was a very pretty one. Well as far as snakes go she was.  
"Why do you keep asking? Who says there is a partner and who says she is alive".  
They were now looking straight and unblinking at each other, the snake curious and the Doctor sternly, they'd all but forgotten about Clara who had, truth be told, completely forgotten about them to.  
"Sssthe ring" the snake said "it's empty".  
The Doctor looked at his hand, empty? How could a ring be full? He looked at the snake, "It's a promise ring not a cup, dear".  
He held up his hand "So to me it's quite full".  
"Itssss not a promise ring" the snake said "It isss a mourning ring, and it is empty. As a child I sssaw one, just once, on a woman from a far away planet. Ssshe told me she had lost her partner in a Great War they were fighting, and this was the only way to ensure their gravesss would be together at the end, Ssshe said it stored his time linesss?" this last part came out as a question. She looked at the Doctor who was visibly shaken by her statement.  
"Enondion! Stupid Stupid Doctor!". He cried out, he looked at the ring intently, "time lines, so there must be a way".  
The snake had seen this whole exchange with growing curiosity, "Ssso if you don't use it I would be willing to pay…"  
"No no dear lady, I'll use it alright, I just need to work out how, this woman you saw, did she tell you how it worked?". He said this with an intensity that startled the snake, who was regretting more and more ever having said anything to this creature. Warm bloods were so much work, she most definitely preferred reptiles and cold hard cash. It was just that is man, this humanoid, he was old like her. He may not look it, but the snake felt the age on him, tasted it, and the loss, it was if there was a hole in him that was now filled with darkness. She knew about loss and being alone and for once, quite out of character for her, she decided to help him.  
"I do not know" she said "but on my home planet thisss woman drew on the wallss in a cave she made. It was quite a spectacle, our elders tried to stop her, but she closed the cave up, like it had never even been there and never came out… Yess quite the ssspectacle". The snake halve closed her eyes as if she was seeing the whole thing unfold in front of her again "quite" she lisped and fell silent.  
"So erm," the Doctor tried to get her attention, "Helland isn't that your planet?".  
"It wass" the snake was now almost crying, "the bare cliffs the rock ranges, it'ss all gone now of course… Sscybermen deemed us unfit for upgraded and destroyed every living creature on it and then destroyed the atmosphere". A tear ran down her face and with a flick of her tongue she removed it. "It was a long time ago".  
The pain never goes does it" the Doctor said quietly, he reached out to touch her head, as she bowed down they stood forehead to forehead in the dimly lit shop. The old and the ancient creature both suffering the burden of being the last and only one of their kind, finding comfort in knowing if only for a little while, their pain was shared.  
"Doctor? Sorry but…" Clara's voice broke the spell the two had been under and, as they broke apart it was as if the whole exchange never happened.  
"Yes Clara, what is it?" he looked at her as if it was totally normal to find him so intimate with an other creature.  
"Where you just? Snogging a snake?!"  
"Was I whating a what?" the Doctor pulled his massive eyebrows almost up to his hairline, "Clara!".  
The snake chuckled and looked absolutely smug "Humans!" she said, "You have much to learn, and sso little time to do it in".  
She bowed her head so that it was level with Clara "They are gifts" she said looking at the various knickknacks she had picked out.  
"Remember kindness, how ever far you go or great you will become, alwayss remember kindnessss",  
and with that the snake slithered back behind her curtain.


	8. Chapter 8

_It's been some time.. sorry. I got ermmmm distracted by other stories trying to force their way outa me :P  
but hope it is worth the wait. I'll try and finnish it asap so I can get on with other projects_

_as always I don't own anything Doctor Who is the BBC's property I just ran with it a lill  
enjoy_

**The best laid plans**

Helland wasn't working out, he'd been wandering on it's surface for days now but he couldn't locate the cave the snake had mentioned, and even tho it wasn't a big planet, for just one Time Lord it was still too big to search stone by stone.  
He was giving up for today and went inside the Tardis, walked up to the console to retract the air bubble he had extended so he could move around without a protective suit. He had to think of a better way to do this. In the snakes mind he had seen the place where the cave had been, but this barren planet had very little in common with her childhood home. Unfortunately she hadn't thought of coordinates to mark a location, just the name of her hometown and the location correlated to that.  
"Useless" he thought "never trust a baby snake to do geography, eyes to close to the ground I think". He smiled a little at his joke but turned more seriously to his blackboard where he was blacking out sectors he had searched. Forty-two sectors were blacked out, and hundreds remained unsearched, he looked at the board, it was mocking him dark and flat.

Dark… and flat… He twirled the chalk he was holding deep in thought, there was an idea forming but not quite ready to pop out. Dark eyes and flat, a face, he brought the chalk up to his face and stuck it, unthinking, in his mouth BIG mistake! As he stood spitting a coughing it hit him, the face of Boe! He'd met in the smog engulfed city a long time in the future. If anyone would know the location of an old forgotten city, it would be him, Boe never forgot, and he would aways help him. Things were looking up, he had a plan, he'd find the cave and he'd save River. "Good plan!" he said to himself. As he turned to punch in the date-time coordinates he stopped, lets pick up Clara, she'd love to see the face of Boe and having a pretty face there would most definitely help dealing with him. He altered the coordinates and whooshed away to earth, mentally congratulating himself on his full proof plan.

"Clara!" the Doctor was banging on her door "Clara wake up!".  
"Doctor! You have a time machine couldn't you pick me up later, It's 2:30 for crying out loud!"  
The Doctor was unfazed by Clara's apparent lack of enthusiasm. "Come on" he said to the closed door "You're gonna love this, I want you to meet an old friend of mine and by old I mean the oldest living thing in the universe. Some say he was here at the Big Bang and will die when the universe dies. Or the universe will die because he dies, who knows. So, want to meet this guy?"  
"No", a muffled voice answered.  
"Clara come ON! trust me you're not going to want to miss this".  
Some stumbling indicated that she was probably getting out of bed, and the door opened, only to show a wild haired Clara in a huge t-shirt and pyjama bottoms with little pink and red hearts on them.  
"You just dropped me off 4 hours ago, I need my sleep" she said to his shirt, to tired to even look up. "Just lemme sleep a little longer, I promise in four more hours I'll go anywhere with you".  
"Aw come on Clara this is the best time for traveling, no traffic" he said far to chipper for Clara's sentiments and with some incoherent murmuring she closed the door.  
"Clara?" no sounds came out of the bedroom, "Claaaaraaaa!".  
"Four hours!" and after that no more sounds where heard.  
The Doctor hung round for a few more minutes but no more sounds came and other then bashing her door in, which he considered for those few minutes, there wasn't much he could do.  
He'd had to wait or go alone, he walked back to the Tardis, mulling this over, he didn't want to wait and even a short cut to tomorrow morning felt like waiting. No if it came to that he'd go alone, having made his mind up he walked over to type in the coordinates and was just about to leave as the door opened and Clara walked in.  
"You were going to go without me" she said in an accusing tone.  
"Well you wanted to sleep" the Doctor said, very pleased that she did decide to come and not minding her tone a bit.  
"you know if you didn't go on so many dates, you wouldn't need to sleep that much".  
She didn't even bother to answer that and walked up to the console "New Earth" she said "why new? Did we not want the old one any more?".  
The Doctor looked at her "Well, it actual name is Planet Bob, but nobody calls it that".  
"But what happened to the old earth?" she pressed.  
The doctor looked uncomfortable, afraid that she might blame him for what he was about to say. "Old earth got sucked into the sun and died, this was always going to happen" he added " suns die and planets to, nothing is forever".  
He eyed her intently she sighed "Yes" she said "I guess everything ends".


	9. Chapter 9

_I got a review YAY, so totally motivated to keep writing. So reviewer this one's for you..._

_enjoy_

** The face of Boe**

Clara sat down inside the Tardis, every once in a while she wished the Doctor would remember what was going on in her life, the comment about dating, so easily made, hurt her a lot. Had he forgotten? Or had it just not happen to him yet? God, time lines where so so so annoying! She sighed.  
"Doctor" she said " Danny died, I don't date I just…"  
"Ow…" the Doctor said "did I?".  
"No you didn't, altho sometimes it feels like it". She shrugged "I know you tried to save him, but sometimes it's just not meant to be".  
She stared into nothing "Sometimes" she started but was interrupted by the Doctor.  
"We're here" he said " I just hope I timed it right" and he stepped out of the Tardis.

He had timed it right, the city was all but abandoned but not quite as much in ruins as he had seen it the last time, Boe was standing in the corner looking at the Doctor intently.  
"Doctor" his deep slow voice sounded pleased "old friend. I did not expect to see you".  
"Boe, you look well, tired, but well". The Doctor nodded his head to the nurse as he walked towards Boe, Clara followed behind him, curious but timid.  
"Yes" said Boe I'm beginning to feel the years, it has been a long time since we last met".  
"It has" The Doctor said as he stood beside him "a very long time. I won't take so long next time, I promise".  
Boe looked at the pair of them, slowly and intense, as he did everything, his eyes rested on the ring, "I remember hearing this story". He closed his eyes "Yes, I remember, you come with a question and I will refuse you".  
"Refuse me?". The Doctor stared at him "Why?".  
"It was meant to be, one of you would not leave the Library, it always was going to be a goodbye".  
"No, I saved her, she lives". The Doctor tried to sound matter of fact but there was a desperation in his voice that made Clara look up.  
What where these men talking about, she wanted to ask the Doctor but he had locked eyes with the huge face as if they where having a staring contest.  
"She did not" Boe sighed, "you visited her grave, how can you doubt that".  
"I visited my grave to" the Doctor said "yet here I stand, nothing is fixed".  
"Some things should be" Boe closed his eyes. "It pains me my friend but restoring her… It could rip the universe apart".  
"Then I will stop that again" the Doctor said "and it won't be the first time either".  
"No" Boe said "I can not help you, not even the Time Lords could. She is part human and to different from them to be able to give her life, nobody was ever restored from a grave, not even you friend".  
"But CAN it be done?" the Doctor asked.  
"It is a big universe" Boe replied "many things can be done".  
"Tell me" The Doctor asked.  
"I cannot, it would rip the universe apart".  
"Tell me".  
"No".  
"I will rip the universe apart! I will carve through time and space to save her!" the Doctors voice had taken a deep menacing tone. "I will sacrifice all if I have to, none of it matters to me" he shrugged dismissively at the world around him. "She does".  
"Doctor!" Clara exclaimed shocked at the fierce conviction in his tone, would he indeed kill them all to be with River? Did River mean that much to him? So much more then… her? Danny? Every living thing? For the first time in her life the Doctor looked and even sounded… alien, and she found that she was scared.  
The Doctor ignored her cry and looked at Boe, no longer defiant he crouched down closer to the giant head and spoke softly, Clara had to strain herself to hear what they where saying.  
"Boe" he said "I cannot live another cycle alone, you know how that feels, know the loneliness. If there is one being that knows this it is you, you have lost so much and given even more, please search your heart and give one last time".  
He moved in even closer and whispered " Please Jack, I love her".  
He touched Boe's cheek with his hand, pleading. Allowing the pain of loneliness to show in his eyes. "Please"  
"Dear friend", Boe sighed "dear lonely friend, travel, and let the source find you, this is all I can offer you. I am sorry".  
"Will it help?" the Doctor asked "Can I not find it?".  
Boe smiled, "One does not look for the source. One can only be found by it, but if there is a way it must be through the source".  
"Thank you, you did not have to tell me but you did, your wisdom is only surpassed by your kindness, I will not forget this".

And with that he straightened up turned to Clara and said "Come it is time to leave" and without a glance back he walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thank you all so so much for you kind words! Really it motivates me tremendously in trying to write the best possible story I can.  
I knew people read it but I really didn't know if you LIKED it, so great! Thanks and I'm totally blushing after your kind words  
So for you dear commentators an other chapter. Hope you like and comment away (critiques are also welcomed as this is my 2 ever fanfic, or story even)_

** An understanding**

"Doctor, why did you bring me here?" Clara had followed him inside and was trying to make sense of all that she'd witnessed.  
He did not answer her and instead walked towards the black board that still showed the blacked out sectors from Helland.  
"Give me a number between 42 and 100,584,350 " he said while looking at it.  
"Doctor! Tell me, what just happened. You said you'd kill us all, you can't pretend that didn't just happen. Do I mean that little to you?"  
"I also said I would save you, so really… give me a number".  
He continued staring at the board, not looking at her.  
"No! First you pick me up in the middle of the night and drag me to a planet where you threaten to destroy the whole universe and after that you just leave?  
Tell me what happened!" Clara had gotten so angry that she was actually stomping her feet. "I follow you, I SAVED you".  
"Saved me?" the Doctor turned to face her "Saved me for what? I was supposed to die, I walked this universe alone for over a 1000 years, and when I should have died, be at peace you added another 2000 or so years to them.  
Saved me" he spat the words out as if they were bile, his eyes blazing at her.  
Those words took the wind right out of Clara and shocked she sat down on the closest chair she could find.  
"You really feel that way? Doctor? I… I… condemned you, I thought I was saving you, I thought you were happy"  
She almost started to cry but then her anger kicked back in.  
"I lost to and I'm not threatening to destroy everything. At least you have a grave you can visit, I have nothing".  
Now she did start to cry, damned those treacherous tears, she wanted to remain angry force him to talk to her.  
"Clara I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said but sometimes the Scotsman leaks out of me. I am very very grateful for you saving me and I am very very sorry that you lost P.E."  
"DANNY! His name is Danny".  
"I'm sorry Danny. But tell me Clara if there was a way to save him would you? Would you not try everything in your power to restore him, and can you blame me for wanting to do the same".  
Clara looked down at her hands, the Doctor had taken them in his when he moved from the blackboard to sit in front of her, he no longer looked angry he looked concerned and very old.  
"No I can't" she sighed "it's just that I thought you were doing fine".  
"I thought you were doing fine too, I guess we both lied".  
They set together for a little bit, a quiet new understanding forming.  
"I'll help you" Clara finally said," I'll help you because you're right, if there was a way to save Danny I would take it and I can't fault you for wanting the same. But I will keep an eye on you and I won't let you destroy anything else I hold dear".  
The Doctor grinned  
"Well it seems I need to be found so I guess Helland is as good a place as any to be. So about that number?"  
He got back to his feet and walked towards the blackboard again.  
"3,141,592 " she said with a smile on her face.  
The doctor smiled "he did rub off on you a little didn't he. Okay it is as good a place as any".  
He walked back towards the blackboard and circled a sector.  
Clara was still sitting down, tired out from all the emotions and events of that night,  
"Doctor before we go on your treasure hunt could we just get some coffee somewhere, I am so tired that I might just fall asleep on the planet surface if I don't get coffee".  
The Doctor looked her up and down,"You do look terrible, maybe you should get some sleep and I will pick you up when you are awake and of some actual use." he smiled when he said that, and Clara knew he had a point. She would be useless like this even with 10 cups of coffee in her she was barely able to function as is.  
"Doctor promise me you'll wait, you won't go to Helland without me".  
The doctor already standing at the centre console nodded "I promise" was all he said, but she knew he would keep his word.  
He was not one to break a promise.


End file.
